Ahoy evfurryone, my name iz Jack and I havs just come to live wiv my nuw Ma n Pa. I hope I get to know evfurryone as soon as I cans. I ams very nuw at this riting malarky so pleese excuze if I don’t always get it rite.
It may take me a while to get settled in so pleese bear wiv me as I ams doin so. Ma has tolded me you are all reely nice and furiendly which is komfortin foor me. I knows I ams a pirate pooch but I am a verry furiendly one so I won’t make anyones walk the plank or anyfing.
I am looking forward to meeting you all verry soon